mise à nu (exposure)
by an-alternate-world
Summary: Sebastian knew there was more to the scar on Blaine's skin than he realised, but that didn't quell his determination to reveal it and understand.


**Title: **mise à nu  
**Author: **an-alternate-world  
**Rating:** M  
**Characters/Pairing: **Blaine Anderson/Sebastian Smythe  
**Word Count:** 11,018  
**Summary:** Sebastian knew there was more to the scar on Blaine's skin than he realised, but that didn't quell his determination to reveal it and understand.  
**Warnings/Spoilers:** I laughed and cried while writing it. Other than that, I've left out as much triggering discussion as possible to be more of an exploration of their relationship. Also - The AO3 version includes embedded images with quotes. The quotes have been transcribed on this version, but if you want to see the pictures, check out the AO3 version too. They are NOT triggering images.  
**Disclaimer:** I am in no way associated with Glee, FOX, Ryan Murphy or anything else related to the FOX universe.

* * *

_Amy (sophisticatedloserchick) prompted a fic within the same 'verse as **Beach Exposure**: The first time Blaine shows Sebastian his scars. Maybe by accident or maybe it's their first time having sex. Of course emotional angst coupled with comfort would be loved :)_

_It then turned into this..._

* * *

_"For all the things my hands have held,_  
_The best by far is you."  
_Andrew McMahon, Cecilia and the Satellite

* * *

_**i**_

_**'The marks humans leave  
are too often scars.'  
The Fault In Our Stars**_

* * *

Sebastian wasn't sure if he could call this their second official 'date' or not. They'd danced around their feelings for years and shared far too many coffees so maybe this was like their three hundred and forty-second date but…this was only the second time he'd expressly asked after Blaine's time at night.

They'd gone bowling the first time and he'd found himself entranced at the way Blaine danced around near the black line in the hope that, somehow, the ball would magically do what he wanted it to do. His mind had gone to incredibly distracted places as he'd watched tan fingers slip in and out of dark holes and it was probably only because he was in a public location that he kept trying to put his thoughts on a track that wouldn't lead to an embarrassing situation.

The second time, Blaine had decided to drag him along to the latest Marvel movie and dinner. He honestly wasn't sure what had happened in the movie because he'd been far too distracted by Blaine's profile that was lit in alternating colours depending on the action of the scene. Worse, his arm had been attacked by Blaine looping his through it and Sebastian hadn't been able to think straight because he had _Blaine's face against his bicep how was he meant to breathe get it together Smythe you're a twenty-something male not a horny sex-deprived teenager_.

Now that the movie was over, now that they were wandering the street towards the restaurant and Sebastian was resisting the urge to draw Blaine into his side again, he became more conscious of the other parts of Blaine's body. He could see the way the hazel eyes flashed with amusement when Sebastian teased him, could see the quirk to his lips when he was fighting back a smile, could see the way he tried to duck his head when he was embarrassed. He could see the way Blaine's fingers fidgeted with his pockets and the sleeve of his cardigan and it was all Sebastian could do not to slide their hands together and hold on. There were years and _years _of miscommunication between them and he wasn't sure he knew what Blaine's reaction would be to holding hands.

Of course, he was examining Blaine so closely that he'd seen straight through the shorter male's attempt to wrap his arms across his chest when an unexpectedly chilly wind blew at them. He could imagine the way the air had seeped beneath Blaine's clothes and skimmed down the back of his neck, prickling his skin in discomfort rather than because he liked it and-

In an attempt to dispel the thoughts that constantly plagued his mind since he'd run into Blaine again all those months ago, he pulled his well-worn Dalton hoodie over his head, re-smoothed his rumpled hair, and extended the article of clothing towards the other boy.

"I'm okay," Blaine mumbled, his eyes darting longingly towards the hoodie when another gust of cold October wind blew over them and he visibly shivered.

"You're too hot to be cold," Sebastian pointed out with a grin, stepping closer and determined to drag the hoodie over Blaine's head if necessary. He was familiar with Blaine's stubbornness, the pout he'd give when he didn't want to concede to the fact that Sebastian was, in fact, right.

Blaine's brow crinkled adorably, his lower lip jutting out just a little. Sebastian suspected the disagreement was building on his tongue, but with a sigh, he deflated and held up his arms like a toddler. Sebastian attempted to hide his smile – and probably failed if Blaine's annoyed huff was anything to go by – as he tugged the clothing over Blaine's head. When the gelled hair popped out of the neck, looking ridiculously attractive in Sebastian's clothes, he pressed a brief kiss to Blaine's temple before he could second-guess himself and they continued towards the restaurant.

Sebastian became acutely conscious of the way the hoodie was too large on Blaine's body and yet he looked so warm and comfortable in it. He became distracted by every blink that revealed the long curve of dark lashes. He became distracted by the way full lips curved around consonants and vowels or the glint of white teeth pressing into plump flesh for every fricative. He became distracted by the flash of pink tongue soaking up the red wine in a glass. He became distracted by so much that the actual conversation passed in a blur and it was only later than he hoped he hadn't made a total fool of himself.

Later that evening, after he'd walked Blaine back to his apartment to ensure no one got too close – which was maybe a little too protective or possessive for only a second real date – he watched the male's hands brush against the hem of the hoodie to remove it. He watched the way it peeled up and over his head, momentarily distracted by the way it had pulled the fabric up of Blaine's cardigan and polo shirt.

He could have sworn he caught the hint of a dark pink across one of Blaine's sides, a thick coloured line that looked suspiciously like a scar and contrasted with tan skin, before it was hastily covered up. The hoodie was thrust into his hands and he closed his fingers around it automatically. There was a hurried kiss to his cheeks that he was too surprised to truly feel.

And then Blaine was gone.

He stared between the hoodie in his fingers and Blaine's door for several long moments. The glimpse haunted him and distracted him from everything else that had happened that night as he rode the train across town.

He was so distracted that he didn't even think about sniffing for any lingering cologne on his hoodie.

* * *

**_ii_**

**_'For every wound there is a scar,  
and every scar tells a story.  
A story that says,  
"_I SURVIVED._"_**

* * *

Contrary to what most people might think, Sebastian didn't actually mind shopping. His mother had always enjoyed taking him through the fashion areas of Champs Élysées and Boulevard Haussmann, imploring him to buy expensive clothes with rich fabrics. Mostly he liked touching the clothes, his fingers learning the differences between linens and satins, cashmere wools and silks. He appeased his mother by purchasing a few things each time and he always ensured he later wore them, but it mostly educated him on the types of fabrics he liked feeling on the bodies of other people, the types of scarves and ties he liked wrapping around people's wrists and-

But none of those thoughts compared to witnessing Blaine's wide-eyed enthusiasm as he bounced from store to store, gesticulating wildly and narrowly avoiding smacking other shoppers in the face. Somehow it made even the most tedious, soul-crushing day of the shopping calendar, enjoyable.

Blaine's excitement was something he'd increasingly begun to recognise and appreciate. It wasn't that he thought Blaine was easy to amuse or delight, and maybe sometimes it bordered on childishness, but it was always endearing, always made him want to find new ways to keep the sparkle in those honey-hazel eyes. They'd gone to Coney Island and he'd followed Blaine to the arcade section, watching him feed too many quarters into machines that were rigged to lose; he'd followed Blaine to rides that were equal parts exhilarating and nauseating; he'd followed Blaine into the mirror maze and rolled his eyes at the way he laughed and pointed at their distorted reflections. He found Blaine had just as much love for animated musical movies as the classics and had to bite his lip to avoid laughing as he'd bobbed his gelled hair. He'd steered Blaine away from people with prams and caught him when he was about to trip onto the road because he had a (slightly dangerous) habit of twirling down the street while he talked about his day with a degree of happiness that Sebastian knew no vaccine in the world could protect him from.

It made sense, he supposed, that Blaine approached Black Friday shopping with the same level of excitement as a kid walking into a Baskin Robbins and being told they could eat everything in sight.

He purchased a couple of new button down shirts because the prices were too hard to resist and he could hear his mother chiding him for failing to buy anything that felt nice beneath his fingers. (He couldn't exactly buy _Blaine_, after all.) For the most part though, this expedition was entirely about Blaine.

At each store, he joined the long line of listlessly waiting boyfriends who exchanged commiserating smiles as they slumped to the floor in a pile of bags. He suspected _most_ of the other guys were waiting on girls but he enjoyed still having a skip in his step as he received texts requesting sizes up or down, alternative colours, and clothes seen but not collected that would look _amazing_ with whatever he'd just tried on. It gave him a sense of purpose as he played the dutiful 'helper boyfriend' – alternatively read as: slave – as he browsed the stores and collected the desired clothes.

Throughout the day, he'd been giving the clothes to the various frazzled girls working the change stalls but at the latest shop – he _thought_ it was H&M but he'd lost track hours ago – there wasn't an attendant available. He'd glanced around but figured he knew where Blaine had gone. He shuffled past the closed curtains, trying to avoid catching a glimpse of female skin and receiving a black eye from one of the waiting boyfriends, until he'd reached the last one.

"Hey, Killer. Here's the clothes you-"

His words faltered as Blaine held a shirt against his chest, shrinking against the mirror opposite the small rectangle of space. The hazel-gold eyes he loved so much showed a level of fear he wasn't accustomed to. It froze him to the spot, the words sticking in his throat. He couldn't understand why Blaine looked so terrified, why his knuckles were white as they clutched the article of clothing to hide his skin.

And then he remembered the hint of a scar on Blaine's body that he'd glimpsed weeks ago.

His eyes betrayed him even though the voice in his head screamed '_NO!_' They dropped down Blaine's body almost involuntarily, catching another burst of an unusual, jagged pink line that blemished tan skin in the small section of mirror that reflected what he couldn't hide.

The hangers of clothes that dangled from his fingers were snatched away, a hand shoving him to the other side of the curtain.

The lightness in his step faded as he waited for Blaine to emerge, chewing his lip between his teeth as he wondered if Nick had answers or if that would be betraying trust he didn't yet have. He received looks from boyfriends who probably thought he was emotionally and physically spent for the day, but mostly he was lost in his thoughts and trying to think of ways to repair a situation he wasn't sure he was equipped with.

Perhaps he needn't have bothered. It ended up being the last store for the day. Blaine claimed he had a headache and had already rushed from the store and onto the nearest bus before Sebastian had properly processed what was happening and stopped him.

* * *

**_iii_**

**_'Scars tell the story  
of where you've been.  
_****_They don't dictate where you're going.'_**

* * *

Curiosity didn't just nibble him. It ripped chunks of flesh from his lower lip and the tips of his fingers because worrying made an old childish habit rear its ugly head again. It didn't take a genius to realise there was far more to Blaine's scar than he suspected the first time he'd spied a fragment of it, but he tried to squish it into a manageable ball and throw it in some sort of internal trash can so that he could enjoy the time he spent with the male. They'd both wasted enough time that he didn't want to ruin the good thing he finally had.

When he joined their hands as they walked down the street just before Christmas, he could tell Blaine was startled by the action. It was, perhaps, more forward than Sebastian was used to being in public since he was still grappling with the whole _I'm in a relationship _thing and there'd been an awkward physical wall between them for the past month. Blaine had been distant, sidestepping most of his attempts at reaching out which was so unlike Blaine that at first he'd fretted about something he'd done that had offended and lingered. Then he'd begun to realise that Blaine was more cautious whenever Sebastian wrapped an arm around his waist to hold him closer, an unthinking gesture that had ramifications he still didn't understand.

And now… And now…

Blaine gradually relaxed the tense grip of his fingers and slid them into the gaps of Sebastian's hand. He swung it lightly back and forth, the apparent discomfort disappearing in favour of the fact they were holding hands in public at _Christmas_ and it was the most romantically cheesy moment that Sebastian thought he'd partaken in. He might almost have thought it was distasteful, his old sarcastic insults lingering at the back of his tongue, but to see some of the old sparkle in Blaine's eyes made him smile fondly instead.

He'd drawn Blaine towards him before they'd entered the Starbucks, mumbling something about spying mistletoe as he kissed Blaine's lips briefly. It was worth it to see the slightly dazed look that Blaine got after they kissed which he hoped never faded. The first time was something he wished he'd caught on camera just so he never forgot the slight tremble to Blaine's lower lip and the slow flutter of his eyelashes as pure gold had opened.

They lined up for coffee with Sebastian standing behind Blaine to allow the shorter to peer up at the order board like he wasn't going to get the same thing as always. His eyes wandered around the coffee shop, noting a young male with red hair and too many freckles (which was saying something considering his own chest) unashamedly eyeing Blaine up and down. He scowled, annoyed that anyone else dared to look at his boyfriend like that while he was around – yet oddly not even feeling the faintest hint of remorse for his own actions when Hummel had been hanging around like a sour smell – and loosely wrapped his arms around Blaine's waist, his chin resting on the lower shoulder. It was every bit as possessive as he wanted and he shot a look over his shoulder at the scowling boy. Take _that_, Weasley.

"We both know what you're going to order," he'd murmured, taking the opportunity to nuzzle at Blaine's neck just to rub it in that this man was _his_.

"Maybe I'm considering getting a Gingerbread Latte for the holiday season," Blaine replied offhandedly, his shrug jostling Sebastian's chin.

Sebastian humoured him briefly by examining the board too but knew what the order would still end up being. Satisfied he'd made his point to the creeper redhead in the corner, he removed his hands from Blaine's belly to rest on the inward curve of his waist. It was a touch still laden with possession but also one he hadn't processed before he made. He was fairly certain he could feel the faint ridge of scarring that lingered on Blaine's skin through his clothes, like the Princess feeling the pea, and though his mind whirled quickly with the confused possibilities of exactly _what_ it was, he wasn't as fast as Blaine slipping out of his grip to move to the counter and place an order.

Sebastian spent enough time examining every movement Blaine made that he didn't miss the quiver in the tan hands as money was exchanged, or the slight slump to his shoulders, or the way the hazel eyes consistently kept avoiding eye contact for more than fractions of a second after they'd sat down with their coffees.

Even though he sat there tracing the rim of his coffee cup and trying to draw Blaine back into a conversation again, he was fairly sure he could still feel the bump in the clothes. Maybe he was being paranoid and exaggerating, but Blaine's reaction was enough for his worry and confusion to deepen.

* * *

**_iv_**

**_'Never be ashamed of a scar.  
It simply means you were stronger  
than whatever tried to hurt you.'_**

* * *

It was always hard to tell what the night-time sky was like in New York because the clarity of it could disappear under the array of dazzling street lights. It was, perhaps, why you expected snow in the days after New Year and bundled up in heavy peacoats and woollen scarves, warm mittens and sturdy boots. You aimed to ward off the winter chill by refusing to allow any fragment of icy wind to pierce your skin.

What was _rarely_ thought of, however, was the need to carry an umbrella just in case it wasn't cold enough for a blizzard and instead it fell as a torrential downpour that soaked through the carefully chosen layers until the fabric clung to your skin and froze you to the core and-

Blaine screeched as a car nearly splashed him with more water, although Sebastian wasn't sure why it mattered. They were already soaked through from the unseasonal rainstorm two days after New Year and had been making a mad dash for a couple of blocks over expanding puddles and sidewalk cracks. Whenever there was an awning that could protect them, they huddled under it but it was pretty pointless. Even Sebastian, who rarely felt the cold, knew his teeth were chattering as they ran across streets with red walk-lights and weaved between cars caught in a traffic jam as a result of the deluge. His apartment was closer and warmer, warmer than Blaine's was ever going to be in any case – even if the other male tried to argue with him.

If it had been a summer rain, one that offered some respite from the burning heat, then it might have been enjoyable to run through the water streaking into their eyes. Perhaps Sebastian would have gripped Blaine's hand and begun an impromptu performance of _Singin' in the Rain_ – which he suspected his boyfriend knew better than him because of his love for old movies – and they would have been clapped by people that were amused by their young romance.

Instead, it was fucking _freezing_ and the only thought on Sebastian's mind was _cold cold cold get these things off me_.

By the time they were ensconced within the elevator taking them to Sebastian's floor, twin drip patterns revealed a splotchy path of evidence from the door through the foyer and from the elevator to his door. He assessed how Blaine's lips were turning an unpleasant shade of purple as he trembled uncontrollably. It made him hasten to remove his drenched coat and peel Blaine's from his shoulders once he'd fumbled his way past the stupid locks on his front door.

"Go shower," he insisted, unwinding Blaine's sodden scarf from his neck, unknotting his spotted silver and black bow tie, and pushing his boyfriend down the corridor towards his small bathroom.

Blaine offered a wobbling smile of thanks as he disappeared behind the closed door.

Sebastian moved quickly to the kitchen, standing on the tiles to make an easier clean-up later. His saturated clothes dripped onto the floor as he stripped them from his body and then scurried into his bedroom in only his underwear to towel himself as dry as possible. He was cold but he knew he'd warm up with dry clothes, Blaine in his arms, and a warm cocoa to drink while they watched a movie. Perhaps his European blood was something to thank his mother for since he managed to ward off the cold better than Blaine.

After he had pulled his favourite jersey over his head, he retrieved Blaine's pair of pyjamas that had been set aside for nights that got too late for returning home and hovered around the bathroom door like an awkward creeper until he heard the pipes turn off. He counted to fifteen, assuming that was enough time for Blaine to step out of the shower and pull a fresh towel from the rack.

"Blaine?" He knocked gently at the door. "I've got your pyjamas here for you."

He couldn't hear much from the other side but about a minute later, the door opened a fraction and one hazel eye peered at him through the gap. Blaine looked wary and small, a sight which Sebastian still hated to see because he simply didn't understand.

"Uh… I hoped your underwear would still be wearable…" he said, feeling uncomfortable when he realised Blaine was maintaining the conscious effort to conceal his body at every opportunity. He'd thought – _hoped – _that it would be something that had passed by now. They'd known each other for years, been dating for months… He couldn't fault Blaine for taking his time and being cautious but the kisses they'd exchanged hadn't been suggestive of anything more taking place. He was increasingly convinced that 'blue balls' was going to be the cause of death on his forthcoming certificate.

"Thanks," Blaine mumbled, his hand reaching through the narrow opening to grasp the fabric in Sebastian's fingers. Plump lower lip nipped between sharp teeth as Blaine pulled the clothes back and was forced to widen the sliver of space between the door and frame. Sebastian caught another glimpse of pink, but it was higher and peaking above the towel on his chest.

He mentally congratulated himself on being stronger, more capable of resisting the temptation to gawk. He offered a pleasant smile and forced his eyes to stay away from staring before he turned away to start hot chocolate in the hopes it would help Blaine warm up and relax.

Even as he busied himself with the task at hand, he couldn't help imagining Blaine dressing in the bathroom, determinedly concealing his skin from Sebastian's eyes and touch. He couldn't understand what secret Blaine had that he was so hell-bent on hiding and he wished he'd noticed his boyfriend was somehow traumatised by what had happened earlier. Maybe he could have unwrapped and repaired Blaine's past before they'd gotten together and the covering up wouldn't have been such an issue.

* * *

_**v**_

_**'None of your scars  
can make me love you less.'  
**_

* * *

For someone that hadn't abstained from sex for more than a week in the past, the months he waited for Blaine to grow comfortable with the progression of their relationship were a constant balancing act between straining his patience and developing RSI in his right arm. Sebastian was fairly certain that if it had been anyone else, he never would have stuck around allowing himself to desire but not consume.

After months of learning every quirk, every blush, every word, Blaine had become more than just a prize. Blaine had become a treasure, someone so precious that Sebastian was no longer sure he should be permitted to touch. In some way that he wasn't entirely sure of, Blaine was damaged. As someone who had previously drawn the prettiest boys and men to his bed for some harmless, fast fun, he'd quickly realised that he had no aversion to whatever secrets had been cut into tan skin. His boyfriend might be scarred on the outside, flawed in some way, but Sebastian was more than capable of seeing past that now. Blaine was more than just a troubled past he never spoke of. Blaine was _everything_.

Perhaps it was why Blaine's quiet confession on his doorstep last Wednesday, their fingers loosely tangled as Sebastian pressed a kiss to furrowed forehead, had been both a surprise and a relief. He wasn't sure getting down on his hands and knees to shout 'Hallelujah' to the Gods was entirely appropriate, but he was pretty sure his right wrist thanked him anyway. Blaine whispering that he was ready, that he wanted to _try_ to go further but that they'd just have to take it slow, was enough for him to kiss his boyfriend into the wall and momentarily forget the _slow_ part.

There was just one catch, which Blaine had texted him later that night.

He was insistent that the lights remained off.

He couldn't stop his eyebrows from dipping into a frown, his lips pursing as he surveyed Blaine's uncertain stance two days later. He'd tried calling and texting for explanations, perhaps not wanting to know _the_ story but wanting to hear _something_. He didn't need to hear Blaine say that he wanted the lights off because something lurked on his boyfriend's skin that he didn't want seen, but he was perturbed by how desperately he fought to hide it. Perhaps there was an element of disappointment that he'd spent weeks, months, _years_, imagining the look on Blaine's face as he came, capturing the sight of his hitched breaths passing parted lips before he finally groaned the name of whoever had brought him to the point of overwhelming pleasure. To miss out on that, at least until Blaine was comfortable with truly being _seen_…

He begrudgingly admitted that Blaine had taught him more about compromise than he'd previously realised.

They waited another week, allowing Sebastian the time to purchase the necessities and make arrangements for a quiet dinner at his place. He wanted to ensure Blaine was as relaxed as possible without overwhelming him. He wanted to ensure Blaine had plenty of opportunities to say no or move away if he began feeling uncomfortable. It was an important moment but it wasn't Blaine's first time. He didn't want to make the atmosphere too romantic with champagne and flower petals because he didn't want Blaine to feel pressured and guilty if he backed out. Instead, he aimed for everything to be as low-key as possible and tried to avoid vibrating out of his skin in anticipation.

It was immediately obvious than Blaine was flustered from the moment the door opened. His bow tie was slightly askew, a few curls not obsessively tamed down and his eyes were erratically scanning everywhere but Sebastian's face. He refrained from saying anything, wanting to avoid any awkward stuttering, and instead tipped up Blaine's chin and pressed a chaste kiss to full lips.

"You look amazing," he whispered, fingertips brushing over Blaine's cheek. Honey-hazel flickered up to meet his eyes and he watched some of the radiating tension leave Blaine's expression. He kissed Blaine again before drawing him inside with fingers entwined.

There was a level of discomfort that lingered over dinner despite Sebastian's attempts to dispel it. Perhaps it was an impossible mission considering the unspoken knowledge of what was coming. The simplicity of conversing and eating was rendered pointless. Blaine complimented the food despite having pushed most of it around his plate for nearly half an hour. His palpable anxiety had begun to make Sebastian question the plan too. Was this something Blaine honestly wanted or was he pushing himself to obtain it before he was ready? What was another month or six of waiting if it meant Blaine could truly relax around him? Hell, what if Blaine was never going to be comfortable with it and they were at the top of the decline of their relationship? What if they did this and Blaine realised he hadn't been ready, freaked out, ran across the country to Cooper in LA, changed his name?

Nerves made it difficult for him to clear away the dishes when the cutlery clattered against the ceramic. When the kitchen was spotless, he turned to Blaine who had been hovering in the doorway, his fingers twisting into his cardigan. He wasn't sure what he _should_ do so he followed his instincts, immensely pleased when Blaine didn't pull away.

"Why so scared, B?" he murmured, his fingers cupping Blaine's cheeks and tugging him closer.

Blaine bit at his lower lip, a nervous tic he'd been doing all night that had been interchangeably concerning and arousing. "I just…don't want to disappoint you."

Sebastian pressed his lips together as he fought down the automatic response of an eye roll and dismissal of Blaine's worries. If he'd learned anything, it was to offer an out because then Blaine would see he truly _meant_ something and had all the power over Sebastian's dick – which wasn't exactly the best of situations but it was one he'd have to deal with.

"If you want to wait longer, I won't hate you, Killer."

Blaine's eyes lowered before rising again, searchingly looking at Sebastian for several long minutes. He was fairly certain his boyfriend was going to cave to his suggestion and he wasn't sure how he felt about it. He wanted Blaine _so badly_ but he also wanted him for the right reasons, under the right circumstances, under the right-

But Blaine didn't protest. Instead, he loosely grasped Sebastian's wrist and stepped backward into the corridor. "I _really_ don't want to keep overthinking this."

His eyebrows raised, an old smirk staining his lips before he could stop it. He continued to be led by Blaine down the corridor. "Does that mean I need to make you stop thinking?"

"You reckon you can?" Blaine challenged, his amused tone at odds with the shyness that had his eyes lowering and his cheeks pinking.

Sebastian snorted and abruptly pulled Blaine into his arms, kissing him with all the love and devotion he knew how to feel. He guided Blaine to the nearest wall and deepened the kiss, spreading his boyfriend's lips with a tongue that dipped and tasted. When he realised Blaine was shuddering against the wall, his knees wobbling slightly, Sebastian was forced to wrap an arm around his waist to hold him up. He kissed Blaine softer and bumped their noses together.

"That… That works, I guess," Blaine said breathlessly. His eyes looked faintly unfocused.

Sebastian's grin widened as he followed Blaine into the bedroom. He took one last look at Blaine, memorising the dark ring of his eyes, the rise and fall of his chest as his heart skipped beats, and then turned off the lights. It was harder to navigate towards the bed in the darkness but once they'd tumbled to the mattress, he discovered how active Blaine's legs were in wrapping around him and pulling him closer, how easily Blaine's fingers moved against his buttons and zips to rid him of his clothes. He shed them somewhere, to the side of the bed or off the edge or above their heads he wasn't sure Tonight had very little to do with any insecurities he held about his appearance and everything to do with the body beneath him.

It was, perhaps, why he took his time in peeling layers of fabric from Blaine's skin slowly. He made sure each movement was carefully planned and executed, offering more than enough time for Blaine to refuse and scamper away. He could feel the quickening of his heartbeat as he exposed more skin, until they were left in nothing except their thin cotton underwear.

Blaine was trembling under him when he kissed his boyfriend's neck and felt for his pulse, his fingers skimming down shaking arms. "Scared?"

"I… A little," Blaine admitted, his fingers carding through Sebastian's hair. It was calming, unravelling Sebastian to the point of a growing madness for Blaine's body that he wasn't sure he could contain.

"Don't be. I'll take care of you," he promised with a gentle kiss to the hollow of Blaine's throat, knowing the promise was true for now and the rest of time. He would _never_ hurt Blaine again. He wasn't stupid enough to lose the best thing that had ever happened to him.

Gradually, with a lot of patient kissing and touching of every inch of skin – except where the scar existed – he could feel his boyfriend relaxing. His eyes had grown accustomed to the dark but he was still grateful they'd chosen his place because it meant any reliance on finding items in his bedside drawer didn't take an embarrassing amount of time. With foil square and rounded bottle in hand, he placed them close to Blaine's left hip and hoped he remembered them later.

He slipped one leg between Blaine's, grinding against his boyfriend's thigh and offering a small amount of pressure against the opposite length. He could feel Blaine writhing beneath him, the way he arched his hips and soft whimpers and pleas fell from his lips. He hid his smile as he leaned in to kiss Blaine deeply, trying to offer as much tender reverence as he could with each flick of his tongue, until both their racing hormones had slowed, until the shaking had lessened. Only then did he settle a hand on the curve of Blaine's waist.

The stiffness that tensed Blaine's body was unmistakable.

"We're in the dark. I won't think any different of you," he murmured, nosing at Blaine's jaw before kissing him again. If he felt capable of anything, it was drawing away the anxiety with kisses.

Blaine was clearly struggling with relaxing though as Sebastian finally – _finally_ – traced the line of an unmistakable scar with his fingertips. It was thick and rough, something he suspected had healed over a long wound some time ago. Blaine didn't move much or slap his hand away. Sebastian wasn't sure he would have remained so still if he'd had something he was desperate to hide.

He didn't linger long on the scar, not wanting Blaine to be ravaged by the terror that must have lived in his past. Instead, he mouthed a path down the smaller body beneath him. He tried to imagine Blaine's tan skin in his mind, adding in new details like the jut of his hipbones and the soft swell of his belly that he couldn't determine if it was defined or not. He allowed the drag of his nose along Blaine's thigh to lead him to the curved length, committing the arching spine and breathless moan to memory when he began licking at the tip. Quivering fingers wound into his hair, clenching tightly and guiding him closer as he allowed Blaine to rock into his mouth and throat in tiny motions of his hips.

"_Fuck_, Seb," Blaine groaned, his nails scratching at Sebastian's scalp when he swallowed. A faint smile crossed his face at the wrecked tone and he wished – desperately wished – that he could turn the lights on and see whether his face was crinkled or lax, whether his hair was sweaty or spiralling loose, whether his eyes were glazed or sharply focused.

His hand groped around Blaine's left hip until it found the lube bottle. The legs beneath him spread wider as he began working in his first finger, patiently stretching and prepping but also determined not to take too long because he wasn't sure when his patience might run out. Blaine continued moving with each probe of his fingers, half gasps and hitched whimpers filling the darkness while Sebastian's tongue circled the sensitive flesh of his boyfriend's cock.

"Please… _Please_…" Blaine begged, his hands blindly grabbing at Sebastian's bicep and one of his ears as he raised his hips hopefully. "I'm ready, come _on_."

Finding the foil square in the dark proved to be impossible, lost somewhere beneath Blaine's body or among the fabric or maybe pushed off the edge of the bed by an errant limb. Sebastian was forced to search for another one in the bedside table and Blaine's impatient whine increased in pitch with each second he was forced to wait for the application of latex.

"I never realised you were so needy, babe," Sebastian teased, earning a huffed growl and pinch to his stomach as Blaine's fingers connected with the first bit of skin they could find.

"You're totally grinning right now, aren't you?" Blaine muttered and Sebastian laughed as his hands slipped under Blaine's waist to hold him up, hold him steady, hold him close, hold him safe.

"You're totally pouting right now, aren't you?" Sebastian replied which earned him an indignant noise that made him chuckle again. He liked that even though they were in the dark, he could envisage Blaine's face crinkled in protest. "Adorable," he murmured, leaning in and brushing his lips over some part of Blaine's cheek.

Blaine tilted his head to meet his lips and the kiss was the sort of distraction they both needed as Sebastian pushed in, making Blaine's teeth bite down on his bottom lip a little too sharply. He moved slowly, using what he could hear of the unsteady breathing and the tightening of muscles below him to guide his actions. It was certainly different because usually he just let someone's eyes tell him what was wanted, what was too much or not enough.

Secretly, he wondered if he was better at reading Blaine because he knew him so much better than anyone he'd ever had in bed before.

He took his time with rolling his hips in and out, establishing what made Blaine breathlessly tremble and what made him moan longingly. He sucked a mark into Blaine's collarbone as his hands settled on a waist that was smooth on one side and scarred on the other. Fingers touched the hand on his left side, attempting to move it away.

"Why are you so afraid?" he whispered, allowing his hand to be moved off the skin. He wasn't sure he could complain when it ended up cupping half of Blaine's ass, but he was still concerned by his boyfriend's discomfort.

Blaine was quiet for a while and if it wasn't for the fact that Sebastian knew he was still balls deep in the other male, that he had Blaine's hands grasping at his shoulder blades, he might have thought he'd disappeared. He slowed his movements, bending forward to kiss Blaine's forehead and run his fingertips over the face beneath him. He was surprised, and horrified, to find it was damp with tears.

"Blaine?" Something he wasn't familiar with during encounters like this, something that was maybe fear, squeezed around his heart as he worried that maybe Blaine hadn't been ready, maybe he was doing something all wrong, maybe he'd gone without sex for so many months that he'd forgotten how to-

"Don't stop," Blaine pleaded, his voice barely a broken gasp that made it clear he'd been in tears a while. It made Sebastian start wondering if the hitched breaths he'd thought were pleasure had actually been carefully concealed sobs.

"I'm not going to just-" The concerned stillness that had taken over his body was partially broken by Blaine shifting his arms higher to wrap around his neck, an ankle digging into the back of his thigh. Though the position was a nice one, feeling Blaine pressed so close and tight into him, he felt trapped by his own worries that his boyfriend had been falling to pieces beneath him and he hadn't noticed. "_Blaine_, talk to me."

"Not right now," Blaine murmured with a slight sniff, trying to raise his hips higher and effectively rubbing his length into Sebastian's belly. "Please. _Please_, Seb, I need you. I need this."

"You're not…" Sebastian bit his lip for a brief moment as he lowered his head, feeling his own prickle of tears because the last thing he'd ever wanted was to force Blaine into this, to lose him later. "You're not regretting it, are you?"

"Regretting it?" If he closed his eyes, Sebastian could imagine the crinkle of confusion that lowered Blaine's eyebrows together, honey-hazel eyes moving back and forth as they tried to understand. "No. _God_ no. Seb, I… Please…"

Sebastian held Blaine tighter and closer, searching for his mouth in the darkness. It was a messy kiss given his angle, tasting faintly of salt from the tears that stained Blaine's lips, but he could also taste the desperation and determination in each twist of Blaine's tongue. With another kiss, softer and more lingering, he nosed at Blaine's cheek as his eyes closed. It was a brief moment of intimacy, of wishing his feelings for Blaine could actually be _seen_ and maybe then there wouldn't be this uncertainty over why his boyfriend was crying. He inhaled and opened his eyes again.

"Roll over, Killer," he whispered against Blaine's ear with a nip at his earlobe.

It was difficult to find each other again after he'd given Blaine a small amount of distance to shift around, able to touch endless skin but having to familiarise himself with the planes of Blaine's back before he could allow himself to get distracted and go further. He propped the male on his hands and knees, his fingers dipping between Blaine's ass to brush against his hole and guide their bodies back together. He waited, waited for Blaine to whimper with need, before he pushed in and savoured the groan that the new position offered. He enjoyed the increased depth and openness of Blaine's body against him, beginning slow as they both adjusted before he incrementally increased his pace.

Eventually, his hips were slamming in and out, his hands capable of feeling Blaine shuddering underneath him as he grasped tightly at whatever he could for support. He could feel sweat trickling down his spine and the dampness of Blaine's skin beneath him and his head spun in tighter and tighter circles when he knew he was close, when he knew he wasn't going to last long.

"Touch yourself. Jerk yourself off for me," he grunted between thrusts. He could tell when Blaine complied because his spine rippled, a surprised cry filling the room and he was forced to bite down on his bottom lip to stop his curse filling the room. He knew he wasn't going to last long and, he suspected, neither was Blaine. Another bead of moisture licked down his skin as he grabbed Blaine's shoulder and hip, using it as leverage to keep the pace rough and fast. Blaine's gasps spurred him on, encouraging him until his lungs choked on the inhalation, pleasure unravelling through every nerve in his body as he came.

Beneath him, Blaine continued rocking against his cock even when Sebastian was spinning out of orbit and barely able to control his movements. He heard the shortening whimpers and felt the tight clench around his length before a long, loud moan filled the room, a quaking to his muscles as he struggled to stay on his knees which Sebastian was all too familiar with. He kissed the knob of Blaine's spine before sliding free, tying off the condom and wrapping it in tissues he'd left on the bedside table. He flipped Blaine over, pressing him into the mattress – hopefully not into a damp patch – and mouthed at the male's stomach, his hands, anywhere that he could taste the come and sweat on his body. It helped make the high last, helped him feel closer and warmer as he soaked up Blaine's post-orgasmic twitches with his tongue.

When he was too exhausted to continue, he lay down on the other side of the bed and tugged Blaine towards him. He let the other male tuck under his arm and sprawl over his chest, enjoying the heated flush of their skin to touch and basking in the rough cotton on his naked skin. He pressed a kiss to the damp forehead and nosed at dark curls that had escaped their gel confines.

"You're _amazing_, Blaine Anderson," he whispered in awe. He could feel Blaine's lips twitch into a smile against his skin as his boyfriend cuddled closer and soaked up his lazy touches.

* * *

_**i**_

_**'Some people leave scars.  
Others heal them.'  
Andreas ****Narfstöm**_

* * *

The sun crept above the horizon and gradually lightened the room in shades of unsaturated grey, until the walls looked faintly green, until the cupboard doors looked faintly brown, until the sheets looked faintly blue. It was his favourite time of the morning, when everything was so still and silent that he'd thought it was magical as a child. After he'd accepted magic wasn't real, the moment had lost a little bit of its sparkle but he was generally always left a little awed by it.

His body felt loose and warm and he tried to hold in his smile when he carefully stretched his spine, attempting to avoid awaking the body that held him tightly and protectively. He peeked up at Sebastian, admiring the way his lips were slightly parted and a dusky pink, or the way his eyelashes fanned beneath his eyes, or the way the pattern of freckles on his face continued down his neck and exploded over his chest. His eyes followed some of the speckles, curving around the pink of his tiny nipples before he couldn't see any more because his arm was slung across Sebastian's flat stomach and the sheet was half an inch below that.

He wasn't sure how he'd gotten so lucky to have this man become his _boyfriend_.

Biting his lip, his cheeks warming at the thought, he carefully tried to loosen Sebastian's arms around him. A soft puff of air passed Sebastian's lips as his muscles relaxed and Blaine grinned in victory as he escaped, crawling beneath the sheet and trying to avoid touching too much of his boyfriend's skin and waking him. He knew it wouldn't take long once he began but he didn't focus on that too much, instead licking at the tip of Sebastian's soft cock until he had his lips around it. Above the sheets, Sebastian released a quiet, sleep-riddled grunt as Blaine lowered his head to take more.

By the time he was half-hard in Blaine's mouth, he knew Sebastian was stirring awake. His hips were wriggling against the mattress and Blaine had been able to reposition between the parted legs. He dragged his tongue along a particular ridge and felt Sebastian shudder.

"_God_… Just like that…" his boyfriend panted, although Blaine wasn't sure how much he was mumbling in his sleep without being consciously aware of what was happening. It made him briefly wonder how frequently Sebastian dreamed about sex. He rubbed his tongue against the ridge again and again, and could feel the increasing stiffness within his mouth. Definitely something to file away for-

"Oh my _God!_" Long fingers spiralled into his hair and then he knew Sebastian was definitely awake, surprised and shocked although adorably rumpled. "What are you even-?"

He pressed his lips together tightly and hummed, and whatever his boyfriend had been about to say disappeared with a guttural moan.

"Okay, okay… _Fuck_," Sebastian muttered in compliance, fingers curling against Blaine's scalp as he continued bobbing his head.

He allowed Sebastian to guide him a few times, breathed carefully when freckled hips bounced with increasing need, and finally zigzagged his tongue across the sensitive ridge he'd found earlier. Apparently it was a better place than he'd realised because Sebastian came across his tongue in a heated flash and he swallowed and licked as muscles shook beneath him. He couldn't help smiling and pressing a kiss to Sebastian's hip as he crawled out from under the sheets.

"And a _very_ good morning to you," Sebastian said with a lopsided grin, his voice husky and his eyes hazy, his cheeks flushed.

Blaine's cheeks dimpled in a shy smile as he was drawn close for a kiss, one that he knew allowed Sebastian to taste himself and one that had him panting – or maybe that was just his boyfriend's other hand palming him beneath the sheet. He could feel his body trembling as Sebastian's mouth closed around his neck, teeth digging into his flesh, and with little warning, he was gone.

Sebastian reached for some tissues by the bed to clean up the mess on his hand and then tugged him into pressing close to his chest like he'd done last night. His whole body buzzed with pleasure and satisfaction, a lazy smile tilting his lips. Sebastian's expression looked similar as he bumped their noses together.

"Amazing," his boyfriend repeated the words from last night, fingers skimming down his spine in a way that made everything tingle. "Are you feeling okay?"

Blaine nodded, nuzzling a kiss against Sebastian's chest. He felt as light as a cloud and safe in Sebastian's arms. He was fairly certain cuddling in bed was going to be his new favourite thing. "Awesome."

Sebastian's eyebrows and lips quirked but he refrained from responding to it. Blaine wasn't sure if that was a good thing or not, although he had a feeling that it would have been some piece of drawled sarcasm that bloated Sebastian's ego. "So… Last night?"

"Was also awesome," he repeated, but there was something in Sebastian's tone that made him guess where this conversation was about to descend. His eyes lowered and he bit his lip.

Sebastian huffed, his fingers circling Blaine's skin until they traced over his jaw. It was difficult not to lean into them like a cat seeking to nuzzle because he knew he needed not to become distracted and complacent.

"I have a lot of questions that would be much easier if you just answered them rather than avoided them."

Blaine closed his eyes, knowing what was coming.

"Have I gotten really bad?"

Wait, what?

"_What_?"

Sebastian shrugged, something hidden in his expression that Blaine couldn't understand when he looked up and found his boyfriend staring at him intently. "Maybe I've forgotten how to fuck someone properly and-"

"No no _no_," Blaine assured, blushing darkly as he recalled the desperation that had coiled in the base of his belly to come, the way it had felt like Sebastian's hands and lips had touched _everywhere_ and left him sparking with untamed electricity, the way he'd wanted to scream with how good it felt to blur possessive want with roughened need. "_No_, you were not bad."

"Well, I suppose that's a relief," Sebastian murmured, his head tipping back on the pillow to stare up at the ceiling. It was disconcerting and Blaine wasn't sure whether Sebastian was really concerned about his sexual skills or trying to guilt him into offering an explanation. "I mean, a guy starts worrying when he realises the other guy is _crying_ during sex, y'know?"

Blaine grimaced, trying to fight his natural instincts to cover his body with the sheet and run for the hills. His buzz had faded and left a cold stone in his stomach, something that twisted and flipped and released black fear into his bloodstream. Tears prickled at his eyes as he struggled with offering reassurance and hiding himself from sight. "I… It wasn't… I wasn't crying because of _that_…"

Sebastian hummed, but didn't speak. It was like acknowledging Blaine's answer and expecting an elaboration without actually asking for it. Maybe it was because Sebastian guessed he'd be spooked into silence if the demand was levelled at him. He wasn't sure how comfortable he was that Sebastian knew him _that_ well.

"No one's ever…" He choked on a hiccup and shook his head, drawing back with the sheet wrapped securely around his shoulders because he was too uncomfortable to have this conversation. Sebastian's grip released him easily, his arms covering his stomach. Yet his green eyes were on him, the gaze sharp enough to cut the flimsy fabric protection Blaine held into shreds.

"I know you weren't a virgin," Sebastian said rather matter-of-factly as he sat up too. There was no self-consciousness in his boyfriend's naked stance, something that was attractive enough to warm his cheeks even as he tried to keep his eyes away from looking.

"Seb, please…" He wasn't sure why he was begging but it might have been because he could feel the hysteria rising in his chest, bubbling and boiling and threatening to take over. He wanted to scream and sob and curl up out of sight.

Sebastian crossed his legs, propping his head up in one of his hands as he kept staring at Blaine. It was unnerving and he hated it, hated how small and weak and vulnerable he felt, like someone had split him open again and was now searching through his insides for secrets.

"I'm going to guess this is about the scar, right?" Sebastian murmured, as patient as always to counterbalance Blaine's conflicted emotions. "Look, you don't have to tell me the whole story if you don't want to but I'm still here, aren't I? I didn't run away screaming when I felt it or anything."

Blaine pressed his lips together and ducked his head when he felt a tear slide down his cheek. His fingers were tangled in the edge of the cotton sheet that he'd assumed as some sort of cape. "But I… You don't understand how much I… I hate it…"

Sebastian's gaze softened as he shifted onto his knees, moving carefully but definitely closer. One hand covered Blaine's, the other cupping his cheek and thumbing away the track of his tear. The intimacy of it made something flutter in his belly. "And I love all of you, Blaine. What's your point? That I'll see it and start hating you?"

Blaine opened his mouth to defend himself automatically before his jaw snapped shut and he stared at Sebastian. They'd been dating for months now but he knew Sebastian was still leery about referring to Blaine as his boyfriend, knew Sebastian struggled with being affectionate in public in case anyone was watching. Sebastian was too used to being a free agent, uncaged and untamed, and saw a relationship as a burden. To say he _loved_ him though…

"Yes, I did say that," Sebastian said, slicing through Blaine's muddled thoughts with all the certainty that suggested his boyfriend knew he was doubting what he'd heard. "I'm not going to take it back either, not before or after you show me your body."

There were mental arguments building in Blaine's head, like stepping stones towards a fully-fledged sentence, but then something would come along and push it into toppling to the ground – _Sebastian loved him!_ He closed his eyes, as if could help him make a decision when he wasn't faced with Sebastian's earnest and hopeful expression. Every time he thought about his boyfriend now, it was that he _loved_ him and it made him falter. Maybe Sebastian used the distraction to his advantage, his fingers confidently unwinding Blaine's from the sheet and peeling it away from his body.

He squeezed his eyes tighter, his breath coming in anxious, stuttering bursts as he allowed Sebastian to see. The muscles around his stomach clenched when Sebastian's fingertips settled on the loop on his chest and he trembled as those fingertips that had brought him pleasure last night explored the length of the scar down his side to rest on his hip. With a quiet sob, he shifted his leg to expose the scar on his thigh because Sebastian may as well see all the horrors and realise how disgusting he was. He tried to tamp down on the revulsion that seemed to fill his throat and made him want to throw up when Sebastian's hand pressed into the skin of his thigh.

"Look at me, B," Sebastian murmured, his hand on Blaine's cheek raising his head involuntarily. "Open your eyes, babe."

Another traitorous tear slipped down his cheek as he complied and saw none of the horror, the repulsion, he'd expected to see in Sebastian's expression. Instead he looked…reverent and pleased as he grasped Blaine's scarred left side confidently and drew him closer.

"You're _still_ amazing," Sebastian whispered and something inside his heart cracked, maybe a by-product of the sob that got choked in his throat as his boyfriend folded him into a determined hug.

He became surrounded by arms and legs that made him feel safe rather than suffocated as a confused cacophony of emotions threatened to overwhelm him. For _months_ he'd been afraid of Sebastian's reaction, terrified that he was so horrifically scarred that Sebastian would realise he wasn't pristine and immediately discard him once he saw it. He always tried _so hard_ to be composed, to be perfectly put together with preppy clothes that no one could see through, but now he was naked and vulnerable to Sebastian's eyes, his deepest fears and worst memories carved into his skin for the rest of his life. He knew how deep his boyfriend's haphazard words could cut and had been wrecked by fear of what words he'd hear if the scar was ever fully revealed.

He cried until the panic abated, until he felt dehydrated and exhausted and too weak to move. He held onto Sebastian because he was still there and he was still strong and he held all the pieces of Blaine's fragmented heart and soul. He'd been there so many times and he knew just what to do or say or, occasionally, the moments that he didn't need to say anything. Sebastian nosed at his jaw and kissed at his cheek and he couldn't help but let his eyes close in a watery attempt at a smile as he was held closer.

"This doesn't define you," Sebastian breathed against his ear, his fingers grazing the ridge of skin down Blaine's side that he'd always been sickened by. "This doesn't change who you are or how I feel. You know that, right?"

Blaine sniffled and gave a wobbly nod as Sebastian tilted his neck for him to hide his face against the skin. He slipped his arms around his boyfriend's body, fingers pressing against Sebastian's back to hold him close. "I'm sorry that I… I didn't trust you with it before or I doubted you or-"

"But now you _do_ trust me to see it and I'm honoured," Sebastian interrupted, his voice firm but calm as he kissed Blaine's temple and cradled him protectively.

"Stop being perfect," Blaine complained, poking Sebastian's shoulder blades.

Sebastian laughed quietly as he repositioned them. Blaine's back ended up against the mattress, Sebastian's weight pressed comfortably across his hips, and he was left gazing into the crinkly green eyes of his boyfriend who looked to have an expression the closest to adoration he'd ever seen. "We make a good pair, you know. I'm not perfect on the inside; you're not perfect on the outside. That's like yin and yang or something."

If it had come from anyone else, if it had been phrased any differently, Blaine might have punched the person in the face for saying he wasn't perfect on the outside, for allowing the scar to reduce his appearance to a level of unattractive that he always feared.

But since it was Sebastian, he knew it wasn't meant to demean him. He knew it was Sebastian's way of saying he accepted it, because Blaine had long ago accepted that his boyfriend could be incredibly blunt with his words which were often sharpened to the point of deliberately hurting people. He knew it was Sebastian's way of saying their flaws were complimentary but not conflicting. It was…sweet, almost. Maybe even approaching endearing – but he wouldn't let Sebastian know that.

"I thought I was meant to be the dorky, cheesy one?" he said and the uncertain line of Sebastian's lips turned into a fond smile. It occurred to Blaine that he wasn't the only one that was uncomfortable about the situation. He'd never properly considered how Sebastian might feel. He was good with his hands but his ability to comfort through words remained a rudimentary skill.

"You must be rubbing off on me," Sebastian shrugged, leaning down to kiss him and shamelessly pressing his half-hard cock into Blaine's hip.

"Says the guy who is probably fighting the urge to rub himself against my thigh," Blaine mumbled between kisses, trying to ignore the warmth that filled his cheeks at the words.

Sebastian drew back, his eyes alight with happiness again. "I think I like that idea…" His smile widened into a suspiciously mischievous grin that made butterflies surge in his stomach.

Blaine rolled his eyes but knew he was smiling too. His fingertips traced patterns between the freckles decorating the pale skin in front of him, gradually relaxing beneath his boyfriend's body crowding around him. "Thank you."

Sebastian kissed the tip of his nose and then bumped it with his own lightly. "You shouldn't be so ashamed. Some people find scars a total turn-on."

He choked on the laugh that threatened to burst from his throat as Sebastian's eyes stayed bright and happy. He had never believed he could feel this light about something he'd struggled to accept was permanently etched into his body for almost a decade. Of _course_ it would be Sebastian with his blasé manner towards anything untoward, with his ability to deflect attention away from real issues and twist his anxieties into something that either had him giggling or blushing.

He couldn't stop staring up at Sebastian, as if he was seeing him for the first time all over again. There'd always been something that had pulled him back, something that had stubbornly drawn them together whenever one or both of them had attempted to resist it, and now he suspected it had been for a good reason. He'd tell Sebastian the story behind the scar someday, maybe a day when they were on the couch together and the rain was pitter-pattering against the window and a movie was on in the background that he wasn't paying attention to because Sebastian's fingers kept sneaking into his pants. He'd tell Sebastian in a quiet voice and he'd allow himself to be held rather than give into the urge to cover himself with more fabric and he'd let himself be reassured that he was still loved, regardless of what any homophobe had done to him in the past.

Some of the mirth faded from Sebastian's expression as Blaine kept staring, an eyebrow rising above his green eyes. "_What_?" Sebastian prompted with a wrinkle of his nose. Blaine wondered if, for the first and only time he'd ever witnessed, his boyfriend was self-conscious.

"I love you too," he said, his heart doing a weird little twitching thing in his chest when he said it. Or maybe that was because of the way Sebastian grinned at him and everything about his expression said that he already knew how Blaine felt.

"Well, that's a relief," Sebastian commented, his words slightly unexpected as his eyes lit up again. "Otherwise rubbing my dick against your thigh was about to get _super_ awkward."

Blaine laughed and reached out to lightly punch Sebastian in the arm for ruining the romantic moment.

But Sebastian effortlessly caught his wrist and pressed it to the pillow above him, his protesting mouth silenced by a firm set of lips that confidently prised his own apart with a hot, determined tongue. His amused frustration eked out of him as Sebastian showered him with more affection than the night before and he knew he could never have made a mistake in admitting he loved Sebastian Smythe.

* * *

_**~FIN~**_

* * *

If you haven't already read **Beach Exposure**, then you should probably get on that because it only adds more to this fic. Thanks for reading!


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